Honoring Those Who Have Helped You

JW Wright and Myself
Spring 2025 Seminar
(Photo by Dorian Brownlee)

Honor. It’s an old concept and one you don’t hear much about these days. I’m not only talking about one’s personal honor, but also honoring others, something I think can often be overlooked in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. We pay for lessons here. We hire people to do something there. 

If we have kids but don’t homeschool, then we’re either paying private school tuition or our kids instructors are paid by government. (Yes, through taxes that we pay regardless of whether or not we have a kid attending, but I digress.)

Have you ever met someone  who went into teaching because the pay was so appealing? A jiu-jitsu instructor who found teaching so lucrative that he was into teaching because of the money?  I doubt it. I’m not saying it’s impossible you’ve encountered such people but I’d dare say they are few and far between, and what’s more, I’d be shocked if you found a good one who was in it  just for money. 

People who serve you, particularly those who go above and beyond, teaching you, helping you, encouraging you, deserve to be, and indeed should be, honored.

What does this mean and what does this have to do with the me? While the answer will undoubtedly be very different for each individual, my answer is simple.

I’ve been unbelievably blessed to be  taught, encouraged, and helped beyond all reasonable expectations in Gracie jiu-jitsu.  

I am not, nor am I likely to ever be, a world champion. I’m female, in my mid-fifties, and while I exercise a lot and have lost over 20 pounds, I’m still shaped more or less like a teddy bear.

Have I competed? Sure. Twice. I did it not so much because I wanted to, but to prove to myself that I could, since honestly, I was terrified to do so. And I did it! I got out there, and fought, hard. 

With My Training Partner at a Spring 2025 Seminar
(Photo by Dorian Brownlee)

Naturally, there aren’t many women my age, size, and rank who compete. If I traveled far and went to one of the largest competitions in the world, I could ‘probably’ find someone of that description to compete against. As it was, however, each time I’ve gone to a competition, which consists of several rounds, my opponents have been women my size, but 25 to 30 years younger than me. Of course jiu-jitsu is designed to use technique and leverage so that a smaller, weaker, slower opponent can still win, however, when we’re the same rank, well, let’s just say I competed and I did my best and I’m proud of myself for getting out there.

All that, however, is beside the point. The point is that I’ve had so much amazing instruction and help that is invaluable. People have given way above and beyond anything that could reasonably be expected, for no reason other than they just decided to be good to me! For this, I want to honor them.

What does this look like— honoring them? For me, it means making sure that they know that I’m working hard. For those who are near me it’s pretty easy because they see me at the gym, however, many of them are extremely far away, and I might see them every once in a while or in some cases never again. Some of them came into my life for a short period of time and made a huge impact. Others, I might get a chance to see once a year or less. 

Nonetheless I want them to know that I’m not squandering all the hard work and effort they exerted helping me.  These people are all unbelievably busy. They probably don’t have time to check up on what I’m doing. However, if they do, I make sure that I have an open Instagram account so they can look at what I’m doing and I post my jiu-jitsu updates somewhat regularly. 

Myself with Royler Gracie
December 2024 Seminar

They’re not updates that mention any sort of tangible progress, but they show my effort. I want to make sure that it's evident that I’m doing all I can with the knowledge and encouragement I’ve been given. I believe this is the best I can do to honor these people.

So I challenge you to honor those who have made your life better, and teach your children to do likewise. Make sure you look behind the obvious and take the extra time to let these people know how much what they do means to you. Don’t take it for granted. Take a moment to honor them.