Monday, April 22, 2013

Low Rise Jean Designers Should Get 50 Lashes with a Wet Noodle

I can't be the only person on the planet who would get great joy from watching the designers of low-rise jeans get 50 lashes with a wet noodle.  Really, what a ridiculous invention.  I mean, I don't want my butt to show, and most women don't.  I should be able to air up the tires on my SUV while wearing jeans without being worried about indecent exposure.  I should, but I can't.

"Fine, then don't buy them," you say.  Well, if it were only that easy. It's pretty much the only thing in every store.

"Go vintage!" I've hear.  I'd love to, but after giving birth to five kids, the only thing that really fits me well in jeans is the stretch denim kind, and even at thrift stores, the only jeans made of that material are low-rise.  I should know--I'm the thrift store queen.

And even worse, who came up with the ridiculous concept of low-rise jeans for little girls?  I've had so much trouble with jeans for my 8 year-old (who is quite small for her age I might add) that I've gone to the point of sewing hearts and flowers onto her older brother's hand-me-downs.  At least those jeans fit right.

For all these reasons, I want to see the designers of low-rise jeans get 50 lashes with a wet noodle.  I'm sure it would have a huge media draw.  Dish Network could make a killing selling the event on pay-per-view!

No comments:

Post a Comment